The Lessons We Can’t Unlearn


When my husband leaves my eyesight, my breath catches.  It catches from a year of sitting and waiting and wondering.  It catches because once we were speaking and a commotion broke out in the background and he yelled, “I have to go” before the line went dead.  It catches because I sat and waiting for three days before hearing that he was ok. There are things that you can’t undo in your life.  There are lessons you can’t unlearn and habits you can’t break no matter how hard you try.  My habit, my lesson, is that he is never guaranteed to be safe, no matter where he is.  And I can never be sure he is alive, unless I am physically talking to him or able to see him. And so I sit at home, my breath stuck in my chest, until he returns again. He admits that he doesn’t Continue reading

Online Communities and Military Spouses: How a New Generation is Bridging the Gap

Deployment Problems

Last year I was contacted by a lovely woman named Elizabeth who was writing a dissertation for grad school about the military spouse blogging community.  I happily agreed to take part and, once we figured out how to work around the time difference from here to London, we had a rather in depth phone conversation about blogging as a military spouse.  She kindly agreed to send me a copy of her paper once it was finished and I am not kidding when I tell  you that I read the ENTIRE thing and was beyond impressed with her findings and opinions based on what she discovered after talking to a number of us. In short, blogging, Facebook and the entire online/internet phenomenon has changed how military spouses related to each other, connect, form friendships, and even how we view ourselves. If you’d like to read her dissertation, you can do so Continue reading

When “See You Soon” Really Means Goodbye

We Loved With a Love That Was More Than Love //

In the time that I have been with my husband, he has only deployed once.  He has had extended training missions, but only the one deployment, shortly after we were married.  I remember when we were dating I didn’t really understand what it was like to be in love with someone in the military.  We were in our early 20s, and so much of our life seemed so normal.  We did normal couple things and spent time with our friends.  But then I did the normal “new love” thing and asked, “How long do you think you could be away from me?”  To which he replied, “Well, at a minimum, two weeks.”  Shocked, I asked, “Why two weeks?”  And he replied, “Because that is how long AT is each summer.” That was that.  That moment defined something that, at 22 years old, never occurred to me was definable.  At 22 Continue reading

Beautiful Knit Scarf Giveaway!!!

Scarf Giveaway //

I’m pretty lucky to be able to call this awesome gal my friend.  She is a truly talented blogger and even more talented when it comes to knitting and crocheting.  But don’t take my word for it.  Check out RheChristineDesigns on Etsy! Rheanna is a blogger and freelance writer, talking about life, parenting and the military.  She has been a milspouse to her high-school sweet heart husband for almost ten years.  Through his almost twelve year career they have shared many of the ups and downs of normal military life, but as an Active Duty Air National Guard family they have also experienced their fair share of unique experiences.  They currently reside in the Washington, DC area, where Rheanna is a SAHM to three children, balancing military life, writing and volunteering. Rheanna creates some truly beautiful products and she is offering one up for grabs to all of you.  I can’t Continue reading

Am I Really War Bride?

Technically, a war bride is a woman that a service member meets and marries while fighting a war overseas.   I’m an Asian American who married a Marine during war time, so I think that is close enough to count. I guess the reason the term war bride resonates with me is the very idea that I married a man because of war.  Don’t get me wrong, we were in love and would have likely gotten married even if we weren’t a country at war, but we married in the race against a deployment.  To me, it makes me the new definition of a war bride.  And there are so many of us. Think of how many military spouses out there met and married their service members during this conflict.  It’s hard to not meet the criteria of my new definition when this war has lasted over 10 years.  So what Continue reading