So, one of the things on my list yesterday was to stop at our local hardware store (I will not mention which big, national chain it was) to buy some type of mat to put in butthead #2′s crate due to the fact that she wakes us up super early in the AM because of her constant moving and trying to get comfortable. Remember, she is a bed eater, so she is not allowed to have a bed in her crate.
I decided that something like the mats you use in the garage or kitchen to save your feet would be ideal. Upon checking out, I flashed my military ID to get my discount. The woman politely asked if it was me or my husband who serves. I told her my husband is a Marine. She asked if he is home, and I said yes, he’s been home for a bit after his second tour. She, of course, follows up with the standard, “Will he have to go back” inquiry. I shrugged and said maybe, it’s likely. She said she was sorry. She asked how much longer he had in service, I said, “He just signed up for three more years.” To which she replied, “I’m sorry.”
Uhhhhmmmmm…. WHAT? The whole conversation was like this. Why do people think that is an ok way to reply to us? It’s SOOO offensive. I’m NOT sorry he re-up’ed. I’m NOT sorry he servers. I’m NOT sorry about his two tours, nor will I be sorry about any additional ones. I’m NOT sorry that my husband is a brave, loyal, patriotic man who was compelled to VOLUNTARILY serve his country and thus, protect his nation. And did she not hear the part about how he signed up for it? He choose to continue to serve for three more years.
Do people not realized how it sounds when they say that? It comes across as belittling his job, no matter what the intention. Could you imagine if people thought that was an acceptable thing to say to normal everyday civilian jobs? I’m sorry you’re a cashier at a big, national hardware store. Gee, Insert name here, I’m sorry your husband is an accountant. I’m sorry your wife is a vet tech. I’m sorry that you have a job that you love. “Oh, yes, my husband is mail man.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
What the heck? I’m sorry your husband has a steady job, benefits, wears a sexy uniform, is brave, loyal, and physically wicked fit. I’m sorry that your husband has job security and loves what he does. I’m sorry he protects our nation, fights our wars so that I don’t have to, and fights for my freedoms. Sorry to hear that he has a job to be proud of, while I’m a 40 year old woman who makes minimum wage as a clerk at a hardware store…
Ok, so that last line was petty, but seriously. I couldn’t believe it. I get so tired of that being the reaction to my husband service.
PEOPLE: This was has been going on for 10 years, new trouble is brewing, at what point are y’all gonna pull your heads out of your butts long enough to realize how to talk to and react to military persons and their families? And at what point are you going to realize that we are proud of what our spouses do.
I know I get mad about the USMC being in the middle of our marriage. I know I get pissed off at Tricare. I get irritated about a lot of things. We all do. But here’s the deal: My husband was a Marine before we met, if I didn’t like it, then I WOULDN’T HAVE MARRIED HIM!!!!! I love him and that fact that he is a Marine. I couldn’t be more proud to call myself a milspouse and count myself a member of the community that all you lovely ladies come from. You are all so amazing and strong and I love that I can learn from y’all. And my husband’s service is amazing and I’m so proud to stand by him and support him. It’s no different that being proud your husband is a police officer, a fire fighter, or an accountant. We are all proud of our spouses for what they do, civilian and military alike. And who cares what that job is? There is never a reason to belittle what someone chooses to do for a living if it’s something they love.
I’m sure that was not her intention, but it’s what she said…
To all of you who say “I’m sorry” when people say that their spouses are in the military, or have more time left on their contracts: Next time, just say “Thank You.” Or, say nothing at all.
End of my little rant… Sorry.