Do you have a little voice in your head that tells you to be lady like? I sure don’t. I’m not saying I walk around grabbing my crotch and spitting in public, but I tend to find potty humor funny and think burping is both gross and awesome if done properly. I also really enjoy saying really random stuff to my friends and following up nearly everything with, “That’s what she said,” whenever possible.
As further proof of my lack of filter, on the rare occasions I leave voice messages, I like to say a random word and just hang up. Usually the word is “BBBBBAAAACCCCOOONNNN,” but every now and then I like to mix it up with the anatomical word for male or female body parts. I like to think of it as sort of a signature. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind who it was that called them when they get one of my voicemails. This rule also applies to text messages.
I was recently having trouble with my phone. For whatever reason one specific friend couldn’t receive my text messages, nor me hers. We emailed back and forth for days trying to get it work and for whatever reason it wouldn’t. Other people could get my messages just fine, just not her.
She discussed the issue with her phone carrier and they couldn’t find anything wrong. I then called my phone carrier and we trouble shooted the issues for about 15 minutes. Then the gentleman informed me that the issue should be fixed and to try to text my friend and he would call me back to see if it went through. I entered my friends phone number and texted the word “poop” because I’m mentally around third grade and have the sense of humor of a kindergartner
After 5 minutes I still had not heard from her, so I tried again. This time I texted the word “testicle.” Nothing. I did a few of the other troubling shooting things and then entered her number and text her again and had success. We chatted a bit and it wasn’t until a few days later that I looked in my phone log and saw that my test message to her was not in the same thread as our other conversations, at which point I realized I had texted the word “testicle” to a random stranger.
Later, I told her that I had thought “testicle” was the perfect test text message but that I had texted the wrong number when I was testing our text messaging capabilities. When she asked me if I was serious, I told her, “I’m not the kind of girl to text “testicle” and lie.” Which is both hilarious and a sentence I bet you have never had a reason to use in your entire life.
For your entertainment I have included a transcript of the actual conversation:
Me: Were you confused as to why a complete stranger was texting the word testicle to you?
Her: I had 415 apparently (referring to part of my phone number)
Her again: Unless you’re f***ing with me. I only know a few people who would do that.
Me: No. 415 is definitely wrong and I’m not the kind of gal to text testicle and lie.
Me again: OMG, I need that on a shirt.