My husband has this impeccable ability to find anything he is looking for in about three seconds. It doesn’t matter where in the house he is, he can hone in on it using some kind of unseen finder radar. He knows where to find his favorite sweats, the miscellaneous extra bathroom stock, and the random kitchen utensils we have but have never used until just now.
I have never understood this gift he possesses. I can’t even remember if I replied to an email I read thirty minutes ago. You want me to multi-task? Done. You need me to remember the vital signs of seven of the last ten patients I saw in the last hour? No problem. You need to find your keys? They are under the dinning room chair because they fell out of your pocket. But for the life of me, I am not a random finder. I can not find random things. Heck, if it’s a useful item in my life, I probably put it in the freezer instead of the drawer and it’s now lost forever in The Land of Lost Left Socks.
But what is most astonishing about my husband’s gift is not the random crap he is able to find through some sort of psychic connection. It’s the fact that once an item has been found, he immediately and instantaneously develops amnesia. He is completely incapable of remembering where to return said item. No matter what the item is, or how often he goes to find it.
I equate him to being the worst superhero of all time. His superhero strength is the super ability to forget where things go. And there is nothing quite like coming home to an unloaded dishwasher and the pile of clean dishes he dirtied just last night and he now has no idea where they go. Or a pile of laundry, shoes, random bits of paper, and even snack foods.
Amnesia Man strikes again.