The Confidence Woman

The Confidence Woman //

Sometimes your heart is broken.  Sometimes it is so broken, you can’t remember a time when it wasn’t fissured, cracks delicately interwoven in such a way that it only appears to be whole.  You get so used to the precarious balance you carry yourself in to keep it from completely falling apart.

It can be tricky, fooling even yourself into thinking you are whole.

Living life in a such a way makes it hard for others to ever know what you are feeling, for admitting such things out loud for others to hear would weaken the thin thread that is strung around the pieces, holding your fractured heart together in the haphazard way that it does.

So, you live your life in a delectate balance, careful to never let the world know or see what might be underneath it all.  You have the brave face of a person who can face any challenge.  You have the upbeat optimism that so many proclaim to wish they had.  You are praised, relied on, the shoulder for everyone to lean on, when deep inside you know that you are one hairs breath away from falling apart yourself and being exposed for the con artist you are.

You are a Confidence Woman.  You are the very definition of what a Confidence Woman represents.  The smooth and trusting smile that makes everyone immediately feel at ease, all the while hiding your own secrets and lies underneath it all.

And that’s what we are in the end; we broken hearted.  We are Con Men and Women, fooling the world, lying behind our smiles, feigning the motions of the normal, knowing we are nothing like them.

Sometimes your heart is so broken, and you can’t remember a time when it wasn’t, and all you have left is the confidence of someone who no longer exists.  And it’s all a lie you tell the world to fool even yourself.

a paraphrase of the Orrin Woodward quote

a paraphrase of the Orrin Woodward quote

About A Girl

A Girl is a 20 something blogger who began blogging in 2008 as a means of coping with a deployment. She is a Veterinary Technician by trade and loves her work in Emergency and Critical Care. She is married to a 11 year veteran of the USMC reserves, whom she meet shortly after he returned from a deployment. They have been married for four years, have three, very bratty dogs, and are currently trying to muddle through the aftermath of a difficult deployment for both.

One thought on “The Confidence Woman

  1. What frightens me the most…feeling it’s someday going to fall out of my hands. That my fake world will crumble, and I’ll be left with crumbs of a fake life I never had. Maybe I’ll lose my fake smile, and never find it. My family, my friends, everyone will find out. They can’t ever know. They are the ones who broke me.

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