I’m Jane and I blog over at Taingamala. Taingamala is a made up word my husband and I use with each other replacing ‘I Love You’. I’m a newlywed, Etsy shop owner, Army wife blogging about life one duty station to the next, making military housing a home, crafts, recipes and more!
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*Jane’s blog has since moved and changed names
Do I stay or do I go?
That was one of the biggest questions when my husband was set to deploy. Should I stay in our Hawaiian home? Or should I go back and live with the support of family?
Staying meant building up a home while he was gone and having that stability for him to come home to. I felt like it was supporting his career choice, that I was tough enough to get through this. I am a strong, independent woman. I could jump start our lives in this duty station. Plus, staying in Hawaii doesn’t sound half bad, right? It also would mean being alone.
Going to stay with family meant having support while he was gone. We had gotten married only a few short months before, I didn’t have any friends, and the wives in the company I did know, were all leaving Hawaii for the deployment. Plus, living with family would give us a little more room to save money which doesn’t sound half bad, right? It also would mean going back and living in someone else’s home. Something I never thought I would do as an adult.
Strong pros and cons to both. Ultimately, I decided to stay. I loved our home, I didn’t want to lose it. I thought it was important for me to feel established in our home as a married couple and not a single woman. There were good and bad outcomes from this decision. I think I grew as a person, relying on myself and I now know that I can do it. On the other hand, it wasn’t always easy. There were a lot of points where I struggled and not having the same level of support I would have from family made it harder.
Now, our priorities have changed and next deployment, I think we’ll switch things up and I may go live with family. The financial pros of saving money paying rent for a room instead of a house, are what appeals to us now.
In the end, whether you choose to stay or go there are great points and drawbacks to both. I think after trying both, we will know what works best for us as a couple.
What did/will you choose?
Be sure to check out the other posts in this series! You can view them under the Deployment Series tab, or by clicking HERE