Perfection on Paper

Everybody’s marriage looks perfect on paper.  That’s the danger of a world where we all live online in the view of the public.  It’s easy to look at others’ lives and think their lives are amazing.  The problem with this is that you are seeing an edited version of their life.

We put on Facebook only what we want others to see.  Our happy family pictures, our fun vacations, photos of us laughing.  We have edited out the negative and the arguments to show the world a TGI Friday sitcom life.  We gently hug after a misunderstanding that is easily solved through strong communication.

The truth is we all have our dirty secrets.  The dirtiest of them all is that marriage isn’t perfect.  For whatever reason we have all been taught to keep up this strange façade that if we smile large enough, no one will ever know our secret.

My marriage is not perfect.  I have never really lied to say it is.  I have written about our flaws as people and even our struggles to come back together post deployment.  The reality is that our cookie cutter life that our friends all believe is wonderful is often anything but.  Some couples find their strength in a deployment  Others are torn apart.

We are the latter.

I don’t know why.  But the next time you are drooling over someone else’s life online, remember you are seeing a carefully edited version of what they want you to see.  Remember that your life is full of struggles that no one knows about, as are everyone else’s.

No marriage is perfect.  Don’t be foolish in feeling alone when yours isn’t.

About A Girl

A Girl is a 20 something blogger who began blogging in 2008 as a means of coping with a deployment. She is a Veterinary Technician by trade and loves her work in Emergency and Critical Care. She is married to a 11 year veteran of the USMC reserves, whom she meet shortly after he returned from a deployment. They have been married for four years, have three, very bratty dogs, and are currently trying to muddle through the aftermath of a difficult deployment for both.

12 thoughts on “Perfection on Paper

  1. I really needed to read this today. Thank you. Not that I compare my life to others, but there’s stuff in my marriage that isn’t perfect, and it’s hard. but others struggle too, so I know I’m not alone, even if I can’t/won’t talk to anyone about it.
    adelina Priddis recently posted…Just Ella by Annette K Larsen #BookTourMy Profile

  2. i’ve noticed through the years that all those seemingly perfect lives and relationships are the ones that end up souring.
    catherine gacad recently posted…Walking Across the Golden Gate BridgeMy Profile

  3. This is so true! Many people only post the good things. And I can appreciate that because the other end (posting nothing but drama) can be annoying. However, it can lead people to have envy that is misplaced. No one’s life is perfect. We all struggle. Maybe not in the same ways or at the same time. But we all do.

    • Exactly. I’m not saying everyone should air their dirty laundry, but we have to remember that no one does so that perfect life they have isn’t anymore perfect than yours.

  4. Very true! I recently had someone complain to me that my life seemed ‘too perfect’ on Facebook…. I don’t post about my arguments with my husband or how I flipped out on the kids when my stress level went through the roof. Like you said, I only post the good. It never occurred to me that anyone would think nothing bad every happens in my life– if only they knew. But when it’s hitting the fan- the last thing I am thinking about is telling all my FB friends. Facebook is an after-thought for me in those moments.

    Thanks for keeping it real ;)
    Miranda recently posted…My Over Committed Busy LifeMy Profile

    • I think people just forget that not everyone feels the need to air their dirty laundry on social media. I don’t post mine either, but it definitely doesn’t mean my life is perfect.

  5. I grew up with a father in the Navy (37 years) and a step-father in the Navy (14+ years) and I can tell you it’s difficult to live through. Good for your for keeping your feelings and writing true and honest!
    Heather @GeminiRed Creations recently posted…What is a Sponsor or Affiliate?My Profile

    • Thanks. It’s not an easy life sometimes, that’s for sure. But sometimes, I think we all fall into the trap of comparing our life to others and we need to remember that no one’s life is perfect.

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