Dear Blogger Networks: Why Don’t You LIKE Me?

Why Don't You Like Me

Oh, right, it’s probably my use of phrases like “dicking around” and posts like my now all too famous “Homemade Swear Words” or the time I wrote about feeding my dogs virgin blood… but in all fairness, really, I just want what’s best for dogs in the most ridiculous and pretentious manner possible.

It probably doesn’t help that last month my most popular post was titled, “My husband wouldn’t stab me,” in which I detailed how I begged my husband to stab me on video.  HEY! I did it for YOU.  And there might have been something about a stab proof vest in there… I can’t be expected to remember all the things.

But, regardless of their true reasons why, I have been declined by every blog network I’ve applied for.  I usually get these really fabulous diplomatically vague answers about my content and numbers not being right for them at the moment etc.  But really, considering I know smaller blogs who get on with these groups, I know my numbers are not the issue.

Sometimes I want to write back and say, “why don’t you want me?!  I desperately need your approval!!!!”  But then I usually remember that yesterday I posted a meme on FB that said something like, “I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch.” (Remember that one?  That was a good one) Or that I make public milestones when people unfollow me or complain about what I share.

Right, that.  Not everyone thinks that’s nearly as funny as I do.

But the fact remains that I get decent campaigns through other means, but I will likely never make enough to really think I’m doing well as a blogger because I can’t manage to join any of the “collectives” that help you land really great campaigns regularly.

Oh well, as I explained on my Facebook page the other day, “If I only use one profane word in a sentence, I consider that darn right family friendly.”  And that sentence is probably exactly why blogging networks hate me…

Damn.  I rely so heavily on outside presences for my sense of self worth…