It’s been a while since I’ve been around a bunch of drunk boys, let alone having some of them be Marines. Working nights on the weekend meant that my husband would do his best to clean up the
crime scene house before I woke up so I never saw the evidence of rowdy drunk boys in my house.
However, now that I’m not only not working nights on the weekend, but am stuck at home injured, I’ve realized that rowdy drunk boys are, well, rowdy and drunk. But they are also messy.
When you’ve had a rowdy group of drunk boys around you will:
- Fear for your life at least five times while they wrestle in your car as you are driving them home.
- Be surprised no one calls the cops on you while they attack each other in your car.
- Have to remind them that dogs bite when you pick on them and that if they get bit it will not only be their own fault, but you won’t drive them to the ER to be treated. They will be on their own.
- Hear at least ten dirty jokes or references to dirty things every thirty minutes.
- Have to remind them that when they pee off of the balcony, our neighbors can see them and probably don’t appreciate it.
- Find a broken vase that someone knocked over because they were too drunk to walk in a straight line.
- Find three half full glasses of beer that weren’t put on coasters and are now damaging your furniture.
- Have a house that stinks of cigar smoke.
- Have to clean up all of the food bits that didn’t make it into their mouths while they ate dinner.
- Put away three Xbox controllers while wondering where the rest of them are.
- Have to air out your house because drunk boys are also very stinky.
Marines are rowdy drunks, but Marines mixed with a friend that used to be in the Army and another who is rowdy just because it’s a Tuesday and you will be lucky your house hasn’t burnt down. And trust me when I say I feel lucky my house wasn’t burnt down.